The monster inside me
by Gett
Summary: During a hunt with his family Dean is affected by the monster of the week. Pre- series. Sam is eleven.
1. Chapter 1 Two brothers plan

Setting: Pre-series. Sam is eleven, Dean fifteen.

Story outline: During a hunt with his family Dean is affected by the monster of the week.

Not a death fiction

Brotherly closeness and Bobby in this one.

Author's notes: Unrelated to any other of my stories.  
I've been waiting all year to get stories back from betas without result so I will warn upfront this story is being posted unbetaed but is complete.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Supernatural related. Most towns and other people are made up, any similarity to the living or dead are purely coincidental.

The monster inside me

Chapter one – Two brothers plan

Sam looked at his brother Dean in horror.  
"Dean no, I can't."  
"You have to Sammy. If we kill this thing its spirit transfers to the killer until the next full moon."  
"Dad only wants to have a look around. He says it's safe."  
"That's because dad thinks he has the pattern worked out. The thing is, it doesn't have a pattern. The killings have been deliberate to throw us off its trail."  
"You think it's capable of that?"  
"I do." Dean placed the tranquilizer gun in Sam's hand. "You and I have one each that way if dad gets it I can put him to sleep until we can cuff him up. If it gets me you do the job."

Sam chewed his lip. It was a lot for the eleven year old to take in. He hadn't been hunting that long and they were going against what their father said for the first time, at least when it came to hunting.  
"Look Sam, tuck it in the back of your jeans. If dad doesn't see it he won't know. We will have to use it eventually anyway cause I doubt dad will wait five days until the next full moon."  
Sam sighed as he checked the safety and stored it away. "Where did you get them from anyway?"  
"Joshua dropped them off last night when you were doing the washing and dad was doing interviews."  
"You called Joshua behind dads back?" Sam frowned.

It wasn't like Dean to go to someone else and not trust their dad one hundred percent.  
"He agreed to the backup plan. He made them up with Pastor Jim. They both know in case something goes wrong."  
"You think something will go wrong?"  
"Look at the trail of bodies this thing has left behind. It's an Adjule Sam. It's meant to live in Africa which makes it the most unpredictable thing we have seen so far. I say we go heavy on the backup and just don't tell dad."  
"Okay. We can take them with us every time we go out."  
"Thanks Sammy."  
Sam saw the relief on Dean's face as well as hearing it in his voice.  
"It's okay Dean. I know you're just doing it because you love us. I love you to big brother."  
Dean squeezed Sam's arm back with a smile. "Love you to little brother."

Dean had his dart gun hidden away just as John came out of the restaurant with a takeout bag in his arms. He slid into the driver's seat and Dean took the bag off him from his position in the front passenger side. He rummaged through the bag until he found Sam's dinner then Johns before pulling his own dinner out last.  
"All set sport?" John glanced across the car to Dean.  
"Yes sir."  
"What about you Sammy? Ready to take point on this one?"  
"Daaadd."  
"I know Dean. It's too early. Sam will be lookout like we planned. "

Dean turned in his seat to see Sam had a slight frown. He couldn't tell who he was annoyed with so he turned back to the front as John put the car in drive. The way out to the wooded area was quiet each Winchester busy with his own thoughts. John was planning the route in his head, Dean was worried about his family and the million ways a simple scout could go wrong, and Sam wanted to be back at the motel waiting for them to return like he normally did.

Sam had often worried about his family while they were gone and insisted they take him when he turned eleven. At first he had to wait in the car and it was boring but then John and Dean started coming back with injuries which started to scare him. Normally they would fix each other up before they went back to the motel but Sam was now learning how much he had missed out on. In a way he was glad but sickened at the same time. He had been training with Dean for more than a year when their dad had decided it was time to introduce him slowly. As lookout in the car at first but now tagging along and being lookout in the field.

Dean hated it of course even though he had hunted much earlier. He wanted Sam safe and sound away from the job. Sam thought Dean was coddling him at first but now he thought Dean's judgment was sound. At fifteen Dean was a fantastic hunter and Sam's hero. Not only because he was Sam's brother who had filled the gap of father when John wasn't around and mother because he lacked one but because Dean never wavered. He put his family first and would rush in to save them even when he was scared.

Sam knew this because he had asked Dean one day when a hunt had left him with a wound so deep Sam thought his brother might bleed to death. In his medicated recuperation Dean had answered Sam's questions. All of them. Even about his mother. Sam was pretty sure Dean remembered none of it but it didn't matter to Sam because he had the feeling Dean didn't have the capacity to lie at the time.

Sam had told Dean he would never be as brave as his big brother because he was scared of what was out there. Dean had told Sam that brave people were scared but never let it hold them back, in fact brave people did it _because_ they were scared. Dean had told Sam how scared he had been in different hunts and even the first time he had to stitch his dad up. Sam decided Dean was very brave indeed.

TBC


	2. Chapter2The protector to all but himself

Disclaimers and warnings: See chapter one

Chapter two The protector to all but himself

When they arrived at the parking lot of the area they felt the beast would be, Dean and John loaded up with weapons and a bag each of odds and ends they might need including a first aid kit. Dean handed Sam his favorite sawn-off shot gun and a flashlight.  
"You okay Sammy?"  
"Yeah Dean."  
Dean sensed Sam's tension. "Just stay close to me tiger. I will look after you."  
"Jesus Dean, it's a scout of the area not the hunt itself. You're freakin' your brother out with your babying."  
"Yes sir." Dean backed off a little but managed to pat Sam on the shoulder without John seeing.

John turned to Sam. "Now this thing basically looks like a big wolf. Its eyes glow and it smells like blood so eyes and ears open. Be on the lookout for dog tracks. We are going to walk the track like we planned. I will let you know when to hang back and cover the entrance to the cave system I showed you on the map. All ready?"  
"Yes sir." Sam squeaked.  
"Don't worry slugger, you will do just fine." John added.

The Winchesters fell into line like a well-oiled machine. After an hour of travelling in the woods Dean pointed out large paw prints.  
"Great work Dean. Let's keep going but keep quiet. They look fairly old but you never can tell."  
Ten minutes later found them at the entrance to the cave system they had seen on the map. The hard sandy soil was really the sides of two large cliffs that had a great erosion crack right down the middle meaning they were walking up the crack.

Dean set Sam up so he was on one side and on the highest ground he could just in case the beast was home and doubled back. They left the duffle of supplies with Sam and did a quick check of what they each had. John and Dean carried on like they had many times before, quiet and keeping their lights low. They had been walking fifteen minutes when Dean stopped John with a hand. Dean pointed ahead of them then pointed to his nose. John raised a single forefinger and thumb on his right hand so it looked like a gun then pushed it forward so it looked like he was drawing from the hip. Dean knew immediately what John was asking: how far. Dean shrugged then showed the fingers of both hands together three times the traced around one hand with the other finger. Thirty feet.

John raised his eyebrows then crept forward slowly. Dean put a hand on John's hand to stop him noticing John had out the wooden stake dipped in cow's blood and melted silver. John raised three fingers to his face then let turned it into two as he moved it down. He wanted to check and make sure. Dean nodded and stayed behind John with his silver loaded pistol out. Fifteen feet later John popped his head over a dirt pile to see the creature digging the ground around fifteen feet away. John shook his head with wonder at Dean's calculation of how far the creature was. He really was turning into a great hunter.

He turned to Dean after having a good look at the beast. John put his hands apart for the universal sign for big. Dean nodded and looked for himself. So much for the legend that said this thing was the size of a normal wolf. It was defiantly as big as a grizzly. It had the long fur and features of a wolf but the fangs were a lot longer, in fact the whole mouth seemed bigger. John frowned as he watched it dig. Dean put his hand on his dads arm to tell him to get out of there when the beast turned and ran at them like it knew they were there. The mound of dirt slowed the creature down and both Winchesters were able to parry out of the way. The creature turned disturbingly fast and headed straight for John. John dodged a blow striking out with the stake he held.

Dean saw the glowing fire like trail down the beasts hide as it turned back to John. Dean fired his pistol as it struck out at his dad. The shot went in its body under its great shoulder but only distracted it from its target, scratching John on the arm rather than a killing blow. Dean winced at the blow not because of the pain and blood but because in their research they found that if the creature bites or scratches someone they will be marked until the supernatural animal can track them down and kill them. It means John is marked for death unless they can kill the beast first.

The monster knows it has John marked so bolted back the way they had come. Dean grabbed up the wooden stake John had dropped when the creature had struck him and chased the beast.  
"Dean, no!"  
John sensed the danger of Dean killing the animal.  
"Sam!" Was all Dean had time to yell as he used all his energy to chase it down.  
"Shit!" John cursed as he remembered his younger, inexperienced son keeping lookout. He fired his shotgun up in the air hoping Sam would hear the shot and be alert just as Dean fired on the beast trying to slow it down.  
"Dean!" He called as he started after his eldest.

Sam had his eyes trained on the entranceway since Dean and John had gone up there twenty minutes ago. He was worried about what Dean had said and was listening very carefully for any sign something was up. He heard a pistol being fired and moved out from behind the rock Dean had placed him at. He was just thinking about following them and helping when there was a shotgun report. He peered into the darkness hoping to spot what was going on. Sam heard feet pounding and getting closer. Suddenly twenty feet away there was a bright light. Sam saw his brother down on his hands and knees over a brighter object.

Sam ran forward with his gun at the ready like Dean had taught him. The light became dimmer as he neared and found Dean now lying on his front with his right arm outstretched. Dean's body was moving like he was in the throes of a convulsion scaring Sam. Dean held the silver tipped stake in his right hand which was surrounded by a glowing orange light like the embers of a dying fire. Sam could barely make out the wolf shaped body. The orange faded and Sam could see a pile of ash under the tip of the stake which was now planted in the ground. Dean's body had a white glow that was fading quickly. Sam closed the distance to Dean and rolled him over. The white light surrounding him was gone but his eyes were a bright white.

Dean's hand dropped the stake and moved to the back of Sam's body drawing out the dart gun. Dean's legs moved restlessly as he placed the gun in Sam's hand and pointed the muzzle to his bare neck. Dean's hand shook as did his whole body as he looked urgently at Sam. The bright white light from Dean's eyes was almost too bright to look at.  
"I can't Dean."  
Shoot his brother in the neck, even with a tranquilizer gun? He just couldn't do it.

Dean managed to slip Sam's finger into the trigger guard but his hand was shaking too much to pull the trigger.  
"Dean," pleaded Sam.  
He didn't want to be the one pulling the trigger. Dean's eyes had dulled down enough for Sam to see the pain in them.  
"Please, Sammy." Dean panted and groaned.  
Sam applied a little more pressure to his finger then faltered.  
"Clean dad's cut." Dean panted as he managed to still his hand enough to slide a finger in with Sam's and the added pressure was enough to fire the gun. The short dart lodged in Dean's neck and Sam drew back as his body convulsed heavily. Dean made a noise like a dogs yip as his teeth ground together. Sam lowered Dean to the ground and cleared the surrounding area so Dean didn't get hurt all with a hand on the back of his head to protect against the tree roots and rocks.

John arrived in time to see Dean lurch twice and slump into unconsciousness. He saw the dart in Dean's neck.  
"Jesus Sammy, did you do that?"  
"Yeah dad. Dean wanted me to. He killed the Adjule so its spirit transferred to him."  
"Where did the gun come from?"  
"Dean. He was worried about one of us getting the spirit."  
John saw the pile of ashes and the stake on the ground.  
"Did you see the spirit pass into Dean?"

Sam sighed . "I saw Dean lit up with white light then his eyes glowed. That pile of ash was orange like fire and shaped like a wolf. After I fired the gun he went all... all convulsive."  
John leaned over Dean and pulled back his eyelid. The eye was moving as if in a scary dream and glowing white even though John could see the pupil.  
"Okay well, you take the gear and I will carry Dean. We need to get him away from here before that dart wears off. Do you have any more?"  
Sam shone his flashlight on the gun to find it had three more darts loaded in a small magazine.  
"Three more plus Dean has a gun."  
Sam slipped the gun out from the back of Dean's pants.  
"You take the one with more and I will take yours just in case. It was a good idea. I wish I had thought of it."

Sam was surprised John had admitted it but was sure he would have been angry if he had found them before one of them had been infected. Sam lugged the bags back to the car behind John cursing how heavy they were with all the weapons bar the dart guns. Sam pulled out the first aid kit as John laid Dean down in the back seat. Sam swiped holy water over the cut on John's arm then placed a bandage over it quickly deciding that was all it needed. John grunted his approval glad he had left Dean to teach Sam first aid as he had Dean's caring touch and speed.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3 Handcuffs and travel plans

Disclaimers and warnings: See chapter one

Chapter three- Day one -Handcuffs and travel plans.

They drove back to the motel where Sam was left with Dean and the dart guns while John went outside to make a few calls. He told Sam he needed to get Dean away from the general population until the infection wore off. Dean was a danger to anyone near him in this state. From the reports they had read anyone infected went crazy ripping people and anything else apart until they came out of it. Ninety percent of people infected died before the full moon meaning they would have to keep Dean drugged up for five days. The hunters knew that it was an even fifty-fifty between the infected people getting killed in self-defense when attacking others and the body the spirit had hijacked being too weak to handle what the Adjule wanted them to do. In essence it looked like the person had gone insane trying to do things no human could do. There was also the risk of drugging someone to keep them out of it for such a long period.

John had tied Dean's hands and feet with rope and Sam didn't like it as he paced the room watching Dean as he laid on one of the beds in a drugged slumber. Sam found it disconcerting that under the harsh fluorescent room light Dean's hair had gone a silvery grey with black tips like a wolf's fur. After ten minutes of pacing he noticed Dean's breathing changed and he started to shuffle his legs. Sam picked up the dart gun and moved closer to Dean. Sam held his breath when Dean's eyes opened shinning bright green. Dean's eyes were normally a light green but the influence of the Adjule had made them a dark jade that was very bright. They seemed to glow in his face and showed his emotions more than normal. Sam could see Dean was fighting something and looked like he was trying to control the monster inside him. Dean's legs were tied but he still managed to move them like he needed to.

Dean lay looking up at Sam gathering his emotions and holding back the blackness that was bashing his brain to get out. To Dean it felt like he had stuffed the monster behind the barrier he had created in his mind for those times he needed to 'suck it up' and get on with it. He had plenty of practice building this wall and making it strong but now the wall felt like it had thin bars instead of thick walls. The Adjule was banging on the bars like a prisoner would with a cup, battering Dean's mind with scraps it was picking up. _'You…are…no…good. Can't…protect…Sam…dad._' Each word seemed to reverberate in his mind as it hit the bars. Dean knew he had some serious work to do to thicken these bars and bring back the wall before the beast came through. His grit his teeth as he steeled himself.

The Adjules spirit battered against Dean's bars as hard as it could manage. Being without a body was hard but not impossible for it to survive. It had not lived over two hundred years without being able to adapt. It simply had to make the person it was possessing do what it needed to get its body back. The Adjule felt for the first time ever this could be difficult. This boy was strong and controlled. It would have to push boundary's it hadn't in a long time to get what it needed.

Dean surprised Sam by holding his tied hands out to Sam with a sad look on his face.  
"Sorry Dean, I can't take it off."  
Dean sat up and rolled off the bed and walked with tiny steps to his bag. Sam's jaw dropped watching as Dean looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame as he crossed to his bag in what could only be masses of pain. Dean pulled out two sets of handcuffs from the side pocket and threw them to Sam. Sam just managed to catch them such was his surprise. Dean went back to the bed and threw himself back down with a whimper like noise that was very unlike him. He raised his hands again and this time Sam noticed the tremor that was flowing through his body.  
"Please… Sam." Dean ground out.

Sam checked the metal cuffs noticing they were quite big. Dean had probably got large ones incase their dad was the one they needed to secure. Sam raised the cuffs cautiously and stepped forward.  
"Wouldn't the rope be more comfortable Dean?"  
Dean's bright eyes showed pain as he moved his hands together then snapped them apart. The ropes didn't break but when Dean moved his hands back together Sam noticed there was enough slack for Dean's hands to fit through if he wanted to. Sam nodded and unlocked the cuffs with the small key then locked Dean's hands together. Dean still seemed tense so Sam went down to Dean's feet to find the ropes looped loosely around his feet. Sam put the cuffs on then removed the rope. Dean had kept his feet as still as he could while Sam worked but then they went back to their slow, short up and down shuffle on the blankets.

The relief showed on Dean's face at being locked up properly. He could now concentrate fully at building the walls. His body slumped and he rolled to his side. He locked his mind on thickening the bars. Slowly the bars widened enraging the beast inside as it clawed Dean's brain and thrashed throwing any dark thought Dean had ever had back at him to relive. Anytime he had failed to stop his dad being injured or Sam from so much as skinning his knee was flashed to the front of his brain in head pounding color with a force that gave him the worst headache he had ever had.

Sam carefully put his hand on Dean's shoulder and found his body was quaking. At least he knew why Dean wanted to be chained up. The ropes wouldn't have held Dean the way he was shaking. He seemed to be stronger than he was before and Sam hoped the metal cuffs would hold. Dean burrowed his head under the pillows seeming to not want Sam to see his pain. Sam patted Dean on the shoulder dismayed when Dean tried to get away from him. Sam heard a soft warning growl come from under the pillow but he knew Dean wouldn't hurt him. He knew Dean was trying to protect him so he tried not to take it to heart.

John came back into the room moments later shocked to see Sam sitting on the edge of the bed patting Dean's shoulder.  
"Sam! What are you doing? He could rip you apart."  
"It's okay dad, he asked me to put cuffs on him."  
"What cuffs?" John moved closer.  
"He got up and got these cuffs out of his bag. He seemed to think the rope wouldn't hold."  
"He talked to you?" John's eyebrows almost meet his hairline.  
"He just said please and held his hands up."  
"And walked to his bag. So he is kind of lucid?"  
"I think so."

John stepped closer to Dean but Sam noticed he had a dart gun out.  
"Sam the reports all say that people infected can't be reasoned with. The spirit is in full control. They don't respond to anyone."  
John was frowning down at Dean's shaking form wondering why he was just lying there shaking when all reports say they go crazy and can't be held down.  
"I think he is fighting it dad." Sam spoke up. "I think he is containing it somehow."  
"That's just not possible Sam."

Nonetheless he got down on his haunches in front of Dean to see for himself. Dean was burying his face under the pillow but John slipped his hand under and drew Dean's head out. Dean kept his eyes squeezed shut like he didn't want to see anything. John slowly thumbed Dean's eyelid back and flinched slightly at the glowing green he saw there. That wasn't in the information they had nor was the way Dean's eyes were moving like he was fighting something. His face was covered with sweat as was his hair. He had to agree with Sam's assessment no matter how young he was.

John rubbed a hand up Dean's jaw and was surprised when Dean nuzzled into it with his cheek and his eyes squeezed shut. Dean's eyes fluttered and there was another low growl before Dean pulled his head back and seemed to shove it under the pillow.  
"It's strange Sam but I think you're right. He seems to be fighting the Adjule. I will have talk to Bobby in the morning and see if he knows anything. In the meantime we need to drug him so we can transport him to the cabin Caleb set us up with. Its three hours away, so we need to pack up first and administer the shot just before we leave."  
"Okay but I think we should work as quietly as possible so Dean can do… whatever it is he is doing." Sam said quietly.  
John smiled with wonder at how well Sam knew his brother and was always there for him.

Twenty minutes later the car was ready and they had checked out. All they had to do was put Dean out and carry him to the car. Since Sam had done it the first time and looked quite troubled at having to do it again John took up the tranquilizer gun, kneeling in front of his son who had his hands between his knees.  
"Dean? Dean, you in there? I need to give you a shot so we can go stay in a cabin away from everybody. Does that sound okay?"  
Dean raised his head and opened his eyes. John winced at the look of pain and concentration on Dean's face and bright green eyes. John faltered between shooting Dean through a layer of clothes or hitting him in the neck.

Dean took the decision away from him by pulling his hands up and bringing the barrel forward until it touched his neck. John had to gulp around a lump in his throat and tears came to his eyes as he watched Dean struggle to keep control of himself. John's finger tightened on the trigger then sighed before pressing it the rest of the way. Dean uttered a sharp dog like yelp then convulsed like he had in the forest. With his hands and feet cuffed John kept a close eye on him not liking the redness already on his wrists at all. It lasted more than a minute before Dean went limp. John didn't like it and resolved to drug Dean as little as possible or try something else.

John carried Dean's limp form wrapped in a blanket so his cuffs couldn't be seen even at three in the morning. Sam sat in the back with Dean's head in his lap. It felt good to be able to help Dean for a change and even better that Dean settled when Sam ran his hand in his hair. Sam fell to sleep when they had been on the road for twenty minutes, the long night catching up with him despite his need to keep an eye on Dean.

John had to stop once to fuel up the Impala and buy enough food from the biggest gas station he could find to get them through the night until Bobby could get there with provisions in the morning as promised. They made it without Dean waking from his drugged slumber in the back. There were a few moments when he tossed and turned even moaning a time or two but stayed out when John carried him inside and placed him on one of the three beds. John had gone in first and opened up and switched the power on at the box. The cabin was owned by a hunter so there were signals written on the walls to protect them. John could only hope Dean wouldn't be affected in his current condition. It was however quite dusty as no one had been there for more than six months. John changed the bedding on one of the two queens for Dean.

The cabin had three small bedrooms two with queens and one double. John gave the other queen to Sam after changing the sheets and blankets as he had done Dean's. He made Sam go to bed and get some rest even though he had some on the way out there. While Sam slept and Dean lay on his bed on his side with his eyes shut seemingly in and out of sleep John cleaned the cabin up so the boys would be comfortable while they were there.

By the time Sam rose a few hours later the front of the cabin which served as living room, kitchen and dining room was clean and free of dust as was the bathroom and laundry.  
"Wow. Is this the same place that looked like a zombie's lair a few hours ago?"  
John chuckled and ruffled Sam's hair. "Bet you didn't know your old man could clean."  
"Actually I didn't."  
"Let's get some breakfast, sport."  
"What about Dean?"

John sighed, he had been thinking about that all morning. Would the creature let him eat?  
"Let's make him a slice of toast and see how it goes."  
Sam made a plate of toast for himself and one slice for Dean. Sam took the slice in on a plate and placed it by Dean's face. Dean's eyes opened slowly giving the impression he had been awake for a while but lying quietly. Sam gasped softly at Dean's eyes which were still a glowing of green but now heavily bloodshot as well. Dean's nostrils widened as he sniffed the air, first smelling the toast then Sam and finally John. Dean backed away across the bed with his nose crinkled in a snarl and his teeth bared. The low growl told them their answer. No food or at least human food.

Sam and John took their food away and ate in the front room both quietly thinking what they could do for Dean. They just finished eating when Bobby pulled up outside. John went to check on Dean while Sam went out for his customary hug. John found Dean asleep with his head under the pillow. He still had on his jacket, two shirts, T shirt, jeans and boots. They would have to remedy that as Dean looked hot. He seemed to be panting a bit to. John closed the door in case the noise disturbed him and went out to greet his old friend.

John held his hand out to the older hunter as he turned from ruffling Sam's hair.  
"Thanks for coming, Bobby."  
"John." Bobby's voice was so sharp John was surprised he had said John and not Winchester like his army sergeants had.  
"Look I know now it was the wrong thing to do but we were just scouting the area and Dean wanted to come."  
"And Sam too, John? Into an area with a creature that has an eighty percent kill rate and that's before it transfers its spirit."  
John signed. "You're not his father Bobby. Dean wanted to go full stop."  
"He's fifteen John, way too young to be coverin your ass."  
"He killed the thing Bobby so he must have known what he was getting into."  
"No doubt after it bit you and was going for Sam."  
"Scratched." John muttered rubbing a hand over his scruffy face.  
"What?" Bobby tilted his head.  
"It scratched me, didn't bite." John had the good grace to look guilty.  
"Same thing. How is he?"  
"Sleepin."

Bobby sighed. He loved the boys as if they were his own sons and they were very close to him at the moment because Bobby was teaching Dean the more technical side of a car engine whilst Sam was soaking up urban legends. Things grown men didn't know. John for instance didn't know they had rebuilt an entire engine in a three day weekend when Dean had been dropped off with a concussion a month ago. Sam did because he stayed and passed Dean tools as he fussed over his injured brother.  
"Okay well Caleb faxed this to me last night. It's a mud map of the area. Where the pond and lake is, the stables, the hunting ground and where the traps are."

Bobby handed over the note and John studied it for a moment before passing it to Sam.  
"What's the situation? Do you have him drugged?" Bobby asked walking towards the cabin.  
John walked by his side and Sam followed behind glad that the threat of a huge argument had been killed off. For now.  
"No. He seems to be fighting the Adjule."  
Bobby spun to look at John. "That's never been done as far as I know. Do you have him tied at least?"  
"Handcuffs at Dean's insistence."  
"His insistence?"  
"He went to the bag this morning and gave them to Sam. When I went to tranquilize him for the journey he helped me fire the shot."

Bobby looked stunned. "Well this is a turnaround from what I expected. Can I go see him?"  
"I'll take you." John agreed as they walked through the front room towards the bedrooms.  
Bobby was surprised to find the door was closed but not locked and he entered behind John cautiously. Dean was asleep lying on his side with his head under the pillow as he had been most of the morning. Bobby approached slowly getting down on one knee level with Dean's head. Dean growled softly making Bobby slow down further but still pull the pillow back enough to see Dean's scrunched brow and flared nostrils. Dean whined softly so close to a wolf's whine Bobby was momentarily startled.

Dean's eyelids opened slowly to show his vivid green eyes. Bobby saw trouble and pain there but also Dean. They were right, Dean was beating the odds and holding the Adjule at least partially back. Bobby could feel Dean shaking on the bed and see the sweat on his brow. It seemed to be costing him a lot though. Bobby hoped they could help him.  
"Hey Dean. You're doing good son. Just keep it up."

Dean licked his lips and drew a deep breath. He cocked his head as he whined again.  
"Bobby?" Dean ground out.  
"Yeah son. Well done. Take it nice and easy. We will do what we can for you." Bobby took a chance to run a quick hand through Dean's hair frowning at the sweat there.  
Dean nodded as he shut his pain filled eyes and pushed his head back under the pillow. Bobby turned to John as he stood slowly and moved away from the bed.  
"I never would have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself. That boy sure is something special. What about food and drink?"  
"Hasn't looked at either."  
"What about using the bathroom?"

Sam came closer. "I was just going to ask if I could ask him if he needed to go."  
Bobby nodded. "Sounds like a good idea Sam. We should get some layers off him to; he is sweating a fair bit. But be careful. Your dad and I will get the things out of the car. Just yell if you need us."  
Sam looked to John but received a nod of the head. John didn't like the way Bobby looked to be taking over but he knew Bobby would be very helpful for Dean so he let it go. For now.

Dean had worked hard since he had woken up hearing John working away earlier that morning. The monster had attacked as soon as he had woken but he was able to strengthen his walls enough to keep it back. Now it felt like the thickness of the bars were now the thickness the gaps used to be. The creature's spirit felt like it had its claws in the gap keeping the narrow crack open. Of course it was still battering Dean with evil thoughts and telling him how he was letting his family down but Dean found he could turn the volume down a little by concentrating on happy moments in his life. It seemed the creature didn't like him being happy. It was almost like it had an allergy to happiness. Dean was determined to work on it. Even though the creature was busy telling him his brother hated him Dean was hoping Sam could help him by staying close.

Sam moved closer to Dean with a tranq gun in one hand and the cuff keys in the other.  
"Hey Dean? You wanna go to the bathroom?"  
Dean's head came out from under the pillow with a soft whine. If it was so much like a dog whine that Sam knew instantly Dean needed to go. Sam unlocked Dean's feet but left the hand cuffs on his wrists. Dean got the picture and slid slowly off the bed. Sam wanted to help but got the feeling that touching Dean while he was fighting for control would be very stupid. Sam moved next to Dean guiding him to the bathroom without touching him.

Dean stopped at the threshold with a soft growl. Sam saw Dean's nostrils flare and heard his brother sniffing with his head tipped first towards the bathroom then towards the back door of the cabin at the end of the hall.  
"You wanna go outside Dean?"  
Dean wined softly again then spoke in a rough growl that sounded much older than his fifteen years.  
"Can I Sam? Just for a sec."  
"Okay Dean but stay close or I'm going to have to put a dart in you."  
Dean nodded softly with a shiver. Going under with the darts made him feel terrible. The beast fought for control while his guard was down and Dean was worried he would lose the thin control he had.

Sam let Dean outside tensing his finger on the trigger of the gun hoping Dean wouldn't run off. Dean only stepped as far as the first tree and began the task of undoing his belt and fly with his hands linked together. Sam tried to watch Dean with the corner of his eye but he was intrigued that Dean preferred to urinate on the trees than in the bathroom. Sam's eyes bugged out when Dean finished, did up his fly and belt then turned rolling his eyes as a foot came back to kick dirt over the ground. To Sam it looked like Dean didn't want to do it but couldn't stop himself. Sam had to stifle a laugh at Dean looking like a dog rather that a cat for a change. The grey hair Dean was sporting added to the image and Sam could have sworn it was longer today.

Dean realized as he went outside then used a tree instead of the bathroom the beast stopped clambering so hard. It was like it was watching with interest instead of fighting him. Dean didn't want to show any weakness by letting it think it could get away with anything so if he felt it would hurt his family it would not be on.

Dean came back to Sam slowly holding his hands up to show Sam he wasn't going to hurt him. Sam was about to turn and open the door but Dean stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. Dean slowly put his hands over Sam's head pulling him into a hug and laying his head on top of Sam's. Sam could feel the tremors in Dean's body and the heat coming off him. Dean hugged Sam for several seconds in which Sam realized Dean was panting like he had been running but lightly like it was normal for him. Sam had plenty of respect for his brother but the bar was slowly being raised as he started to understand how hard Dean had to be working to control the beast within.

Dean moved his face down to Sam's ear startling the younger boy with his hot breath in Sam's ear.  
"Thanks Sammy. It's easier if I do a few things it wants. Stops it clawing so hard." Dean's voice was just above a whisper.  
"That's okay Dean."  
"And thanks for not laughing. Must look ridiculous."  
"No problem Dean. Do what you have to. I'm here for you. Dad and Bobby to."  
Dean sniffed Sam's ear for a second making him jump then pulled away to wait by the door.

Sam came forward to open the door for Dean who was standing with his head down and his hands in front of him looking compliant. Sam led Dean back to his room then slowly and carefully took his jacket and shirt off. Dean lay down without hesitation seeming to know this was the best way to stay in control. Sam approached Dean's feet.  
"I'm going to take your boots off Dean, so you are more comfortable."  
Dean nodded softly and lay still while Sam removed his boots and put the cuffs back on his ankles. Sam put Dean's boots on the floor and made sure Dean was comfortable in his normal position with his head under the pillow before going out to the adults.

John looked up as Sam entered the room.  
"Everything okay Sam?"  
"Yeah. If he needs to go to the bathroom just take him outside."  
John quirked a brow at Sam.  
"Don't ask. It makes him feel better so just do it."  
"He didn't try to run for it?"  
"No. He said it helps him deal with it."  
"Okay." John looked troubled despite his positive answer. "Anyway Bobby bought the store out so come have some lunch. I'm going for a sleep since I've been up all night and Bobby's in charge until tonight. We have decided I will do nights and Bobby will do days for the next few days. I want you to try to stay in a normal pattern as much as possible Sam. But we may need you to help taking Dean to the bathroom. Let's just wait and see if he will do it for us first though."

Sam grabbed his plate and joined Bobby at the table.  
"I can help Dean anytime dad. I promised I would help."  
"No problem Sam. Just get some rest when you can. I have a feeling we will all need it."  
John went off to bed in the single bed and Bobby cleaned the lunch stuff up before taking a comfortable chair into Dean's room and setting it in the opposite corner. Bobby took a cup of coffee into Dean's room and a book he had been reading. Sam came into the room with his own book to read.

Sam sat on the end of the bed and read his book. Bobby asked if he wanted help but Dean was his favorite teacher so he had to say no. Sam glanced at Dean every few minutes knowing by the shake of the bed Dean was really struggling at the moment. Sam offered Dean the water bottle and got him to take a little but not as much as he hoped. They spent the afternoon watching Dean shiver and shake on the bed now and then letting out a small growl or whimper but otherwise keeping his head under the pillow.

Dean was working hard at pushing the small gaps still left in his wall. The creature was still keeping the smallest of gaps open with its claws but Dean had closed the rest up tight.

The spirit stuck behind Dean's wall knew it was in a bad place. It knew it was up against the hardest strongest person it had ever been. This boy would be very hard to manipulate to do what he wanted. It had to find another person to transfer into if he couldn't get another body. It may be able to control another person rather than this boy. For the first time the Adjule looked through Dean's eyes at someone else to possess.

At dinner time Sam asked Bobby if he could cook Dean some minced meat for dinner. They cooked it just enough so a human would not get sick but with some pink on it hoping the beast would allow Dean to eat it. Bobby thought it was a good idea and allowed Sam to attempt to feed it to Dean. Dean took a few spoons only but at least it was something. Sam offered Dean water often getting him to drink two or three mouthfuls each time. Bobby was worried the beast would starve Dean to death in the few days he was in him.

Later that night Sam took Dean to the toilet again and Dean again hugged Sam again for a few moments before they went inside. Sam thought maybe Dean was enjoying just having Sam's eyes on him and not having the adults around where he was constantly watched least he do something he shouldn't. Sam didn't know how Dean was doing it but he was immeasurably proud of his brother.

That night Bobby and John talked about drugging Dean to let him have a restful sleep. Sam was against it because of Dean's reactions to the tranq guns and John was doubtful it would even work. In the end Bobby decided a sleeping tablet would be best. He cooked up small pieces of steak just enough for it to be coincided rare. Sam was put in charge of feeding it to him but he did so reluctantly because of what it would do to Dean and because of how much blood was coming out of the small pieces. Dean seemed to like it however and ate four pieces before starting to shake his head as if he had clued into what was in them.

Bobby stayed with Sam and John until Dean looked like he was going to sleep then went to bed. John made Sam go and took up his position in the chair Bobby had bought it. John watched Dean for the next two hours as he fought the drug. John just thought Dean was falling asleep when he leapt from the bed and ran as fast as his handcuffed feet would allow straight at the one small window in the room.

TBC


	4. Chapter four Day two The bottom of the

Disclaimers and warnings: See chapter one

Chapter four Day two -The bottom of the deep blue.

John's heart was in his throat thinking Dean was going to dive out the window but at the last second his path changed slightly and he ended up banging rather painfully headfirst into the wooden window surround. John winced at the sound as he watched Dean stagger to the empty corner away from him down from the window and fall down on his butt facing the into room.

John had the feeling the creature had taken control for a few seconds but Dean had wrestled it back just in time. He was proud of the way Dean was holding the creature back and didn't know if he would have the emotional stability and strength to do what Dean was doing. What Dean was doing he realized was saving his family, again. From the creature killing them, from the creature killing them from inside him, and from his family having to do overly much in the way of looking after him. Certainly from his family watching the Adjule rip Dean apart like they normally did.

John approached Dean slowly to assess the damage. He got to within five feet before Dean growled at him softly. Dean raised his head with his teeth showing, nose wrinkled and blood dripping down his face from a cut above his left eye in his hair line. John slipped off his jacket and took off his button up shirt. John folded the shirt to use on Dean's wound. The first aid kit was too far away and he couldn't risk a dart with a sleeper in his system. John stepped closer to Dean with the shirt held out.  
"Just going to clean your wound for you buddy."

Dean growled louder and swiped at John with his handcuffed hands. Dean didn't have nails to any degree so John knew he wouldn't get hurt but Dean might hurt himself trying so John backed off slowly. John spent the next two hours watching Dean pull at his clothes in agitation. To John's surprise Dean was actually ripping bits of shirt off his body. He was doing it so slowly and quietly John didn't know he was doing it until he started throwing bits on the floor beside him. John hoped he would stop at the clothes cause if he started ripping skin off John was going to _have_ to knock him out.

Dean mercifully stopped once his upper half was clothes free then proceeded to roll his head back and forth in agitation, occasional hitting his head on the wall behind him. John tried again to give Dean first aid but this time Dean managed to punch his arm away. John had time to inspect Dean as he sat in the corner half-dressed rolling his head. The boy was thinner than he could remember him being. He thought the Adjule probably had a faster metabolism than a human and was causing Dean to waste away as he wasn't holding any fat to start with. Dean was starting to develop real muscle tone and it showed like crazy the way he was panting all the time.

When Bobby and Sam staggered in a seven Dean was still sitting in the corner with his head down blinking sleepily. John was watching carefully, dart gun in hand.  
"What the hell happened?" Bobby asked.  
"I think the drug weakened Dean's control of the Adjule. It was going for the window but Dean stopped it. I think. He won't let me near him."  
Sam moved closer and Dean growled rather menacingly then wined. Dean watched Sam with wide eyes as he got closer trying to shuffle in the corner. Sam saw many emotions in Dean's eyes fear, hunger, anger, pain, love and worry. There was another growl and then Dean screamed making them all jump.  
"Not Sammy! NO!"

Dean smacked his head hard into the wall behind him then left and right into the walls either side. He left dents in the wall but was out for the count slumping back into the corner. Sam ran forward to grab his head and John lifted him to the bed. Bobby came in with the kit and the three of them dressed Dean's wounds, the most serious being the cut at his hairline which was swollen and bruised. Sam grabbed a face washer from the bathroom and washed the blood away as he was looking fairly gruesome. All of them commented on the color and length of Dean's hair which was defiantly longer and greyer than the day before making it a little harder to clean the blood out. John decided while Dean was out they should change him so he was more comfortable. They put a pair of sweat pants and a loose T shirt on him.

Bobby got a board from the barn and sealed up the window from the inside so Dean wouldn't get cut if he tried it again. Sam kept watch over his brother as he slept off his slight concussion and the rest of the tablets. Sam saw that Dean trembled and panted worse in his sleep and was saddened by what Dean was going through. Bobby made breakfast and everybody ate in the kitchen with an ear out for Dean. They needn't have worried for Dean didn't wake for two hours.

Dean had found controlling the beast that much harder under the influence of drugs. It seemed to be concentrating on just keeping one small gap open and sliding his walls back like two sliding doors. He didn't know his walls could work that way and was now having to work hard to concentrate on closing them up from a different angle. He worked on it in his light slumber.

Dean woke slowly whining a few times softly. They let him wake fully before Sam took Dean to the bathroom, well the tree outside. Dean again hugged Sam before they went inside and Sam sensed Dean was bone wearily the way he gripped him and his head lingered on top of Sam's a few seconds longer. Still Sam was stunned when Dean's voice was low in his ear.  
"Sorry Sammy. I could have hurt you. Tell them no more drugs. Too hard."  
"To control it Dean?"  
Dean nodded.  
"How are you doing it Dean?"  
Dean shrugged. "Walls."  
Dean looked like he couldn't or wouldn't say more.  
"You're doing great Dean. I will tell them not to drug you but you have to try to eat and drink for me."  
Dean nodded softly. "Try."

Sam decided after lunch to go for a walk down to the lake since it was a nicer than average day for that time of year. He had to partition hard to allow the older men to let him take Dean. He wanted to provide Dean with a distraction as well as a way of giving him a bath. Dean still had some blood on him and had no shower for a couple of days. It was a nice day and he felt like a swim would do them both the world of good. In the end he won the argument by allowing the adults to tag along at a safe distance and Sam had to be armed with a dart gun. Sam dragged on a pair of old shorts and a T shirt then un-cuffed Dean's feet and coxed him outside.

Dean peed on his tree but frowned to find Sam was not near the door but standing by the path leading away from the cabin.  
"Let's go for a walk, Dean."  
Dean looked doubtful but followed along behind Sam slowly. The path was thin so Dean had to walk behind Sam but the younger boy turned several times to make sure Dean was keeping up. When they came to the lake Sam dropped the two towels he had brought on a flat rock.

Sam made to take Dean's hand cuffs off but the older boy pulled his hands back so Sam couldn't do it.  
"You want to swim Dean?"  
Dean shook his head and sat on the rock hoping Sam would get the picture. Sam backed off and let Dean sit on the rock. He kept his eyes on Dean as he entered the water and wasn't surprised to see Dean's eyes roaming the area. He didn't expect to see Dean's head snap up and him sniff the air to the north of the lake. Sam grinned knowing that's where John and Bobby were. Dean sniffed for a few seconds and then seemed satisfied that Sam was safe enough. Sam saw that Dean was on alert so he was satisfied he would be safe and dived under the surface for a long cool swim. The water was as clean and clear as it looked from the surface. One of those oasis away from the world and untouched by anyone.

Dean watched as Sam swam in the water. He could smell John and Bobby on the other side of the lake and knew they were no threat to Sam. They were just keeping an eye on him and he couldn't blame them. There were a lot of animal smells as well but they were all old and no threat. Dean was finding it very hard to keep the beast under control. For some reason the water was freaking the Adjule out. The closer he got to the water the more it tremoured inside him. The blackness swelled and shrunk back then seemed to try and climb out of the back of his brain. Dean slid himself towards the water slightly.

The Adjule fought against him then retreated to a far corner just as quickly. Dean smiled softly at his ability to control it got better. He got up and slowly walked to the edge of the lake. As soon as he placed a foot in the water the beast screamed inside him and fought hard against Dean. It shoved his darkest, scariest memory's at him as quickly as it could like flashes of his life before his eyes. He placed his foot out of the water and the monster calmed. Foot back in the water and more internal struggle. Dean took a few hurried steps and plunged into the water with his cuffed hands held out in front to cut through the water. The beast howled and John and Bobby poked their head up from the bushes at Dean's howl like a wolf.

Sam was startled at first at seeing Dean dive into the water and the noise he made. Sam swam closer to see Dean swim across to the middle of the lake and down. Sam looked over to the hunters behind the bushes who shrugged. Sam shrugged back but kept an eye on the deeper water for his brother. Dean was down too far for Sam to see. Five minutes went by of Sam treading water looking for Dean. It was way too deep for Sam to dive down to the bottom but he could see bubbles coming up so he had to assume Dean was breathing down there. The older hunters came closer the longer Dean was down.

Sam was starting to worry about Dean having his hand cuffs on, clothes on and getting snagged on something when a shadow appeared below him. Sam saw two bright, glowing green eyes before he could make out Dean properly. Dean came up fast and gabbed Sam by the arm as he treaded water next to him. Sam blinked in surprise then shock as Dean leaned forward and licked his cheek with his tongue much like a dog. Sam didn't realize how long Dean's tongue was before. Even though he was wet he still felt the saliva Dean left behind.  
"Dean! Gross!"

Dean splashed Sam with water and laughed.  
"Such a wuss."  
"You seem better."  
"The Adjule hates water. Its hiding somewhere in here." Dean tapped his head. "It was really peaceful down there with it cowering in the corner."  
"How come you can breathe so long underwater?"  
"It must be something to do with the supernatural powers it has. I know it's making me stronger so maybe it's that."  
Sam couldn't help but hear the gruffness in Dean's voice as it almost gave out a time or two. It was like listening to someone with laryngitis or a very bad cold.  
"Cool. We'll have a swim and relax for a while."

The boys played in the water for a good three hours, Dean spending a good amount of it under water or licking Sam's face like a dog since Sam made a fuss each time. The older hunters were bored to tears after an hour and John left to get some sleep. Bobby stayed and watched Dean carefully, watching his mannerisms and care with his brother despite the obvious fact that Dean was in control of the monster for the time being. Bobby had enough experience with dogs to know that Dean was doing what wild dogs often did: circulating among the other pack members, vocalizing and touching until they get excited and are ready to hunt. Dean was doing it to Sam but to Sam it was just Dean playing around and having fun. Something he rarely did these days. Dean soon worked out that when he shook his head with his longer hair it would give Sam a thorough wetting and make him squeal away, so he did it frequently.

Dean was reluctant to get out of the water but Sam was starting to shiver and look pruny so he walked slowly out of the water behind Sam. The Adjule hit him for control as his feet hit the bank but Dean went down on his hands and knees to breathe through the pain and the blow to his mind. Dean threatened the creature by crawling backwards toward the water and it backed off enough for him to take control then stand and walk back to the cabin.

Dean asked for a shower and a change of clothes as his were wet and muddy. Sam bought the required items to the bathroom and undid one cuff so Dean could slip his T shirt off. Sam saw immediately what John was worried about as far as Dean's weight was concerned. He looked thinner than Sam had ever seen him even though Dean often went hungry so Sam could eat. Dean insisted the cuff go back on despite the fact he was about to get in the water and have more control of the Adjule. Sam left Dean to it staying outside the door in case he was needed. Dean took his pants off and had a quick shower washing himself as good as he could. It seemed the shower was nowhere near as good for keeping the spirit under control and he had to fight it like he had on the edge of the lake the whole time.

When Dean had his lower half dressed Sam came in and helped him with his T shirt. Sam left Dean with Bobby at the table in the main room to eat while he had a superfast shower and dress. Sam was happy to see Bobby had got some almost raw beef strips into Dean and was ecstatic when he took a few more from him. Once Sam had eaten and they had cleaned up Sam decided to read since there was no TV. Dean asked softly if they could go out on the front porch so Sam took his book to the wooden lounge with a few cushions.

At first Dean sat on the front step as if keeping watch then he sat down by Sam's hip. He seemed to be in good control of the beast as rested his head on Sam's shoulder. Sam did what was natural: he scratched Dean's head with his free hand. Sam found the strands of hair were super soft like a puppy's new coat and it soothed him as he scratched. When John came out at eight looking all sleep ruffled Dean was asleep with his head on Sam's lap and Sam was absently patting Dean's head as he tried to see with the outside light. John helped Sam wake Dean up and take him inside. Sam took Dean out to his tree where he tiredly did his business then hugged Sam for a moment before stumbling inside and into bed.

The spirit inside Dean watched Sam closely from behind Dean's eyes. Out of all the people at the cabin it could possess the smallest boy fitted the need best. It felt it was a pity it hadn't a chance to get into him first as it felt it would already far from here and not fighting a teenage boy for control. Unfortunately it couldn't just jump into the boy. The situation had to be right and it would have to make the older boy say a spell out loud and draw some symbols. That's where the trouble lay but it was a patient creature having been around as long as it had demanded it.

Dean could sense the spirit looking at Sam and pulling back a little to assess its options. The thing would get into Sam or anyone else over his dead body. He kept that little scrap of information as far away from the cage as he could. He had a knife in his bag and was prepared to use it to save his family but if worse came to worse he knew a few other ways to do the job. For the moment shutting his eyes and letting Sam stroke him just pissed it off so he allowed the contact.

Sam stayed with Dean, reading with his back on the headboard and a hand on the back of Dean's neck until the older boy fell to sleep. Sam went to bed in his own room at the insistence of his father even though Bobby had supported his argument to stay in the room to help Dean. The young hunter was much more in control with Sam around John had agreed but then showed Bobby and Sam the handcuffs Dean was wearing. There was a slight strain in the metal in the links and the cheek plates showing Dean's new strength was testing the metal. Sam argued that it had probably happened at the lake when Dean was fighting the spirit back but John insisted and won sending a grumpy Sam off to bed.

That night they didn't drug Dean but left him to pant his way through the night with John watching over him. John didn't like that Dean was having to tough it out on his own and just hoped the next three days would pass without incident. During the night Dean howled twice like a wolf baying at the moon. It scared all of them out of bed but when they saw Dean was okay, mostly asleep anyway, they went back to bed on tender hooks each time.

TBC.


	5. Chapter 5 Day three My brother

Disclaimers and warnings: See chapter one

Chapter 5 Day three- My brother: Still the protector.

The next day passed slowly with Sam having to be pried away from Dean for meals and the bathroom. Dean was still the most responsive to Sam and seemed to gain some strength to hold tough against the beast in him when Sam was close. Sam got Dean to drink a reasonable amount of water and a little food. John suspected it would be enough to keep a normal fifteen year old boy going, just. But with this thing in him he was going to need more. John thought Dean would need extra energy just the way his hair was growing. It was longer than Sam's today and longer than Dean had ever worn it but it sort of suited him with the way it stuck up all over. The day was fine like the day before and John allowed Sam to take Dean to the lake again with Bobby. John did washing as Dean at least was fast running out of clothes then went to bed for a few hours.

As they approached the lake Dean stepped in front of Sam and held him back with his shoulder since his hands were cuffed. Sam saw Dean was sniffing the air as he frowned looking around the lakeside. Sam had taken a quick look around as he had been trained but thought the area was clear. Sam knew Dean was overly protective normally so coupled with his new canine senses he would be doubly so. Still he stayed put when Dean told him to as Dean moved around the rocks on the side of the bank until he was almost halfway across one side.

Sam watched as Dean rounded some rocks carefully sniffing then backed up suddenly splashing the water a little. Sam's heart went to his mouth when Dean howled loudly. A brown bear easily twice Dean's side came out from behind the rocks and ran up the bank away from the water. Dean stood firmly in a cuffed fighting stance ready to fight if he needed to but the bear hightailed it without a second glance. Dean came back to Sam with his head down but Sam patted his shoulder.  
"Thanks Dean. You saved me, again."  
Dean just shrugged looking embarrassed so Sam bent and helped him out of his long pants so he could swim in the shorts he had on underneath.

Sam and Dean had fun once they were in the water. Dean acted a lot like a dog, shaking water on Sam and licking his neck just to stir him up. Dean's time down there wasn't all fun and games. The beast inside him tried to stop him getting in and out of the water as it had before. Dean had to work hard to keep it back but the afternoon with Sam was worth it. Afterwards Sam took Dean back and helped him with a shower once again. Dean had a blood nose in the shower and his forehead was scrunched with pain. Dean had less to eat than he had the night before but Sam and Bobby didn't push it too hard as Dean seemed to be having more trouble holding onto himself after the swim than the day before.

The spirit had tried to break Dean enough to get him to help it transfer it to Sam while they were in the water despite its hate of the water. Dean felt the spirit taking an extra look at Sam whenever it could and he fought harder until he had just a sliver of the wall open. It was costing him though. His head was pounding in time with the beast's fists beating on his walls.

Sam took Dean out to the porch again after dinner to read to him but this time Dean stayed sitting on the stairs folded in on himself panting through the pain and trying to remain in control. Nothing Sam did would convince Dean to come any closer. Sam frowned with thought. John came out and frowned himself looking at Dean's posture and position away from Sam even though he was watching him carefully.  
"What's going on Sam?"  
"Dean's having a hard time tonight."  
"Any idea why?  
"I think the Ajule is making it harder for Dean now it is getting closer to the full moon. Could that be what's going on?"

John moved closer to Dean and got a growl for his trouble.  
"You could be right. Best keep a close eye on him. I have some more cuffs since it looks like he has strained this pair even further. "  
"You're not going to knock him out are you? Cause I don't think that's a good idea."  
"No Sam. I won't do that until it's absolutely necessary but we have to be careful. Dean is doing something quite remarkable but we don't know how long he can keep it up."  
"It's Dean. He is doing it for us." Sam had complete faith in his brother.  
"I know Sam. How about we take him inside? It might be easier for him on his bed."  
"As long as I get to stay with him."  
John saw the stubborn set to his eleven year old sons' jaw reminding him of his eldest so much he almost smiled. "Okay son."

Sam coxed Dean inside and was surprised when Dean sat on the side of the bed and whimpered showing Sam his cuffed hands. John appeared at his side with the new cuffs but had to back off when Dean again growled at him. Dean allowed Sam to place the new cuffs on him but he had his eyes shut tight as he did so. Sam could feel the shaking without having to touch him so was slow and careful at taking them off and replacing them one cuff at a time. With the new cuffs on Dean lay down on his side with his face under the pillow. Sam drew the blanket up around his brother getting a small whine of thanks.

Sam was a little worried Dean hadn't spoken for some time but recognized Dean was battling hard just to keep the creature from controlling him. They only had two days until the full moon so Sam knew the monster was probably feeling stronger. Big efforts from all hunters managed to get Dean to eat two small chunks on rare meat but nothing else. Dean was shivering and panting despite the fact he was now under two blankets and John decided ten blankets would probably not help. The shivering was from Dean holding the evil back and there was very little they could do. When they turned in for the night John turned the lights off in Dean's room save for a small lamp by the chair on the other side of the room.

Sam was sitting on the end of the bed away from Dean and got up to say goodnight to his brother as John turned down the lights.  
"Night Dean." Sam patted Dean shoulder and his brother looked up from his cocoon of blankets with a soft whine.  
"Hey dad? Dean's eyes are glowing."  
John was up and by Sam's side in a moment. "They are?"  
"Just a little but yeah."  
John just caught enough of Dean's eyes as he snarled softly at him to see the green had a glow in the dark look to them.

They both stepped back as Dean's teeth came out in warning at the proximity.  
"What do you think it means?" Sam asked all wide eyed.  
"I think you're right, it's tougher for Dean to stay in control at night and so much closer to a full moon. The moon is just about all the way full and the creature knows it. It's going to be extremely hard for Dean now Sam if it wasn't already impossible. You need to limit how much time you spend with him."  
"But dad…"  
John bent down to Sam's level under the soft glow of the single lamp. "Sam, how do you think Dean will feel when this is over and he accidently hurt you?"  
Sam looked over at his brothers shaking form. "He'd be mad, punish himself and go all quiet like he does. I hate when he does that." Sam's voice was very soft sounding like a five year old.

John swept Sam into a short hug. "I know it's hard Sam but we have to help Dean as much as we can and the next few days are going to be tough. It will take all our help to get him through it. Now how about you get some sleep and we will see how he is in the morning?"  
"Okay. Thanks dad."  
Sam went to his room with a last look at Dean as he left the room.

Bobby dropped in to see Dean and John before he turned in and once Sam was asleep.  
"How is he?" Bobby asked softly.  
"His eyes are glowing and he is finding it harder now it's closer to the full moon, I think."  
"How is Sam taking it?" Bobby scratched at his beard.  
"To be truthful I'm worried Sam is going to get hurt. He trusts Dean not to hurt him but it's hard to explain that Dean wouldn't be the one doing it but he would take full responsibility for not being able to stop the creature making him."  
"I think you underestimate Sam just a little bit. He is a clever kid and Dean has done a great job with him."

It was a direct challenge of John's fathering skills but he was to tired and worried to bite back and after all Bobby was right in this instance as much as he didn't like to admit it.  
"We need to be careful over the next couple of days Bobby. Maybe making sure one of us are with Dean all the time so Sam doesn't think we don't trust him."  
"No problems there but it would be good for Dean to have the support to John. I know it doesn't look like it but we are helping him just by being with him. I'm sure he appreciates it even if he can't say anything."  
"Yeah I know. Anyway see you in the morning. I will yell if I need help don't worry."  
Bobby had asked him every night if he needed help to yell so John was cutting him off at the pass.  
"Okay well, goodnight. Night Dean."  
Dean raised his head a little which gave Bobby hope Dean was still in there and fighting hard.

John was roused from his note taking at two in the morning to find Dean pushing his way out of the covers. As John watched Dean slowly raised his hands up and looped the short cuff chain around the bedpost letting the chain slide down so his hands were resting on the end of the mattress. John walked forward slowly and raised the blankets so they were over his shoulders again. Dean settled again but it must have been uncomfortable for him. John frowned at Dean knowing he wasn't trusting himself to stay in bed and not attack anyone during the night. John knew it would be harder when the moon was actually out than during the day, still…

TBC


	6. Chapter 6 Day Four One to go

Disclaimers and warnings: See chapter one

Chapter six Day four- One to go- Blood

In the morning Sam picked up Dean's new position before he was fully awake. He woke and stumbled to Dean's room hearing male voices. John and Bobby were standing at the threshold to Dean's room talking in soft, gruff tones. Sam saw Dean's new position then a dent in the wall by Dean's head. Even with the one light globe in the room he could see the smudge of blood on the wall by the dent. Sam gleaned from the hunters that Dean had a rough night to the point he had started hitting his head against the closest surface: the wall. Sam was surprised it hadn't woken him although all the walls, even the internals, were made from sturdy logs that had drywall over them.

Sam went closer to Dean and found Dean had his head jammed between the mattress and the headboard. Sam saw Dean's hands were pulled tight against his handcuffs and Sam could see under the single bare bulb in the middle of the room that his wrists were red and raw. Dean moved away from Sam to the corner of the bed and the wall not seeming to care that his wrists were being twisted as he moved. Sam saw when Dean's hands had been there were a few scratches on the wall. Sam knew instinctively Dean had scratched those marks with his fingernails. Sam gulped around a lump in his throat as he realized just how much the beast was hurting his brother.

Sam went to the kitchen with Bobby and made some rare beef strips for Dean for breakfast. He was determined to get Dean to eat after a night of being awake and in pain. The day was the complete reverse weather wise than it had been so there would be no taking Dean into the woods with the lightning and constant rain. Sam took the strips on a metal plate and sat on the side of Dean's bed. Sam talked softly to Dean until he looked up slowly. Sam could have sworn Dean's eyes had a fair amount of yellow in them before they changed in a split second to bright green. Sam saw bruising on Dean's forehead and some dried blood that made him wince.

Dean's hair on his face had grown since the night before and Sam knew if Dean was in his right mind he would be proud that the hair on his face was the longest it had ever been, easily a three day growth. Even Sam could tell Dean's face was skinnier and his eyes were getting a sunken look despite how big they looked, although that could have been because his irises were so big. There was not much white left at all.

After much coaxing Sam got Dean to take a piece of meat which he chewed with his mouth open at first grossing Sam out but then he froze when he saw Dean's canine teeth were much bigger than they had been. They were now clearly the biggest teeth in his mouth and doing most of the work chewing the meat.

Despite the less than elegant sight, Sam stayed and made sure Dean had no less than six pieces of meat. He wanted him to eat more but Dean had backed further into the corner with a soft growl. Sam was about to walk off when he saw the way Dean rubbed his head on the mattress. Sam saw some blood on the mattress and found dried blood on his nostrils when he looked harder using both the room light and the lamp.  
"Dean, do you have a headache?' Sam asked gently.  
Sam received a soft whimper as a reply so he went in search of John who was in the kitchen.  
"Dad can we give Dean something for his headache do you think?"  
"He has a headache?" John frowned.  
"How could he not?"  
"Did you see the bruises?"  
"And the blood on his face but it's the way he is rubbing his face on the mattress. He does that when he is hiding something. There is blood on the sheets to. I think he had another blood nose during the night."  
"Hmm."

John was amazed again at how well his boys knew each other but went to Bobby to discuss whether Dean would stomach pills or not. Eventually they decided to give him one in a piece of meat but Dean refused to eat until after lunch time when they finally got the drugs into him. They all sighed with relief as Dean had been whimpering softly all morning. He had been using the blankets to smoother the soft noise but they were all attuned to Dean at the moment and missed nothing.

Sam had asked Dean once in the morning if he needed to go outside to be meet with silence but when Sam asked him after he had eaten Dean nodded and unhooked himself from the bedpost. Sam helped Dean outside marveling at the growth on his face now they were out in the dull sun and could see it better. The lighter conditions outside also showed Sam the new bruises Dean had from hitting his head. Sam thought they might have to hide up here a bit longer just so Dean could recover from his cuts and bruises when this was all over. His headspace would be something else altogether and something Sam didn't quite understand but wanted to be there for him nonetheless.

On the way back in, without the hug this time, Dean showed interest in the bathroom and Sam offered Dean a shower. Dean simply went into the stall and stood there clothes and all. It took lots of coxing from Sam and Bobby to get him to take his sweat pants and t shirt off. Dean sank down and sat under the water with his back against the wall and his elbows on his knees with his arms and head hanging down. The only times Dean lifted his head was when lightning flashed in the small bathroom window. Sam noticed Dean's nostrils were flaring when he looked up, no doubt smelling the ozone in the air.

Bobby came in with fresh dry clothes for Dean and took a moment to observe the state of the young hunter under the water. With the best lighting he had seen him by so far Bobby saw Dean had bruises at different stages of healing on his body from holding the creature inside back several times physically and mentally. Dean's longer hair was starting to look like a lion's mane so he made a note to give Dean heaps when he was back to normal. The facial hair was a little disconcerting. Since Dean was only fifteen he had never had much in the way of hair despite his attempts at trying to emulate his dads scruff. It looked wrong on the young face but so did Dean's eyes when he looked up at the window for those few seconds at a time.

Bobby saw the pain that the young boy was pushing behind the walls. The control was amazing but Bobby had to wonder again about Dean's mental state after having to do this for his family. Bobby was thinking about the walls Dean already had in place to protect himself against the pain caused by his family and had to wonder if this would change him forever. He had talked to Dean about the way he always put on a brave face at varies times during his young life and felt he knew more than John did about the way Dean faced mental anguish. Dean's nonchalant attitude and humor hid a lot of pain for someone so young.

Dean stayed in the water until it was cold and Sam had to tug him out where he stood and let Sam dry him with a towel but offered no help, standing and letting Sam pad him down with a low whimper and his eyes clamped shut. Dean regained himself enough to take the clothes from Bobby and struggle into them even tearing the t shirt a little with his roughness. Dean seemed to calm a little more back in the bedroom mainly because it was windowless and darker in there but as it grew closer to evening Dean grew more restless with the coming almost full moon.

Dean's mask of indifference was back in place as it grew dark liking his room best as the window was boarded up against the night sky when the Adjule was its strongest raging behind the barrier. Sam got more painkillers into Dean in the two single pieces of meat Dean had eaten before huddling in the corner of the bed and wall. John swore he could see Dean's ribs through his shirt without trying which worried him greatly. John gathered as many spare blankets as they had and piled them over Dean so he could have a small protective barrier between them. He knew it wasn't much but whatever helped Dean had to be useful. Dean seemed to appreciate the gesture burrowing into the mound despite being very warm to the touch and putting out a fair amount of heat.

At ten pm Dean burrowed so deep he slid under the bed taking the blankets with him. The creature was pulling out all the stops and hitting Dean with his worst nightmares. Unfortunately he had a few and ninety percent involved his little brother. Sam kneeled and poked his head under the bed to be met with a pulsing light display. Dean's eyes were glowing and changing from green to yellow to white and back again.

At ten thirty the vote by unanimous decision was for them to all stay with Dean for the night. Sam lay on the bed with his head close to the gap between the bed and the wall where Dean was balled directly below him. Bobby stayed in his usual chair and John took the corner across from Dean, sitting and leaning into the corner like Dean had only a couple of days ago.

Dean was restless under the bed but better now that Sam was sleeping close by. Dean's restlessness reminded John of the times he had been stuck in a hospital bed looking for a comfortable position to fall to sleep. The boy was like him in hospital as well and never settled until he was back with his family. John could hear Dean sniffing around and got up for a look to find Dean was sniffing between the gap at Sam's close hand. John held his breath for a bit but Dean backed off and went back to his restless shuffling.

At midnight Dean let out a wolf like howl that had the two adults standing panting with their dart guns drawn and Sam sitting up with his hair everywhere despite it coming from under the bed and blankets. Dean howled a few more times between midnight and one before going back to his restless scratching around, his panting breaths and soft growling very loud in the otherwise quiet room. Not long after one Dean seemed to settle more and his breathing changed to soft whimpers. John heard Sam muttering and went over to the bed for a look. He found Sam's hand down through the gap touching Dean's head under the bed. John was dubious about Sam's relaxed attitude and proximity to Dean but after a few minutes of watching he found Sam was actually calming Dean. The older boy was blinking tiredly looking like staying awake was a tough mission. John leaned closer and found Sam was telling Dean it was alright over and over and how great a big brother he was. John shook his head at how close his boys were. He guessed it was bound to happen as they were the only thing they could each rely on constantly.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7 Day Five -Full Moon

Disclaimers and warnings: See chapter one

Chapter seven Day five- Day of full moon- Bad moon rising.

By dawn Dean was fully asleep with Sam's hand on his head. Since Sam hadn't slept much John and Bobby left them asleep while they made breakfast. When Sam woke at nine John was happy to see Dean open his eyes for a moment and they were Dean's normal eyes just a little more vivid like they had been the previous day. Dean didn't take any food that morning but he did take a little water and went out to the tree with Sam midway through the morning. Dean looked a mess this morning with his long sweaty hair and his eyes sunken in his face. The growth on his face was quite long this morning reminding Sam of when John let his beard grow but blonde and grey. The cuts and scrapes he had done to himself were not healing very well and were red and raw with bruising around them. Even Sam could see how much weight Dean had lost through his t shirt out in the rain. Dean's pants were in danger of falling down. He was lucky he had sweats on because jeans would have been around his ankles by now.

Dean didn't want a shower that day instead preferring to stay under the bed seeming to know he would need all his strength for the coming full moon. John and Bobby discussed what they would need to do that evening but since the situation was unique there was very little they could do except for bashing in a post in front of the cabin in the clear area where they normally parked their cars. There was little to no blocking of the sky from trees here so Dean should get the moonlight falling on him which as far as they knew he would need. At least there wasn't anyone around to get hurt if Dean got lose tonight.

John and Bobby stocked up on darts and made sure the guns were loaded as preparation. John found a heavy stainless steel chain to chain Dean to the pole not knowing or wanting to find out if iron would hurt him. The afternoon dragged on with tension so thick in the air they could almost see it. They all worked hard to keep Dean comfortable but he clearly wanted to be left alone occasionally letting Sam pat him from above but growling if the others got close.

When the moon started to come up as the sky darkened John helped Bobby move the bed from over Dean. Sam coxed him out of the covers dismayed at his worsening appearance. Dean had clearly been scratching at his skin leaving red welts and in some places bleeding skin. Sam wrapped the heavy chain over the chain of the handcuffs and removed the cuffs on his feet at John's instruction before they both held the chain as leading him toward the front. Dean hung back a little as they neared the front door making John frown. He thought the kid would be happy to get rid of the creature inside him but the closer he came to the steel pole the slower he got until he was barley walking. Sam slipped the chain over the pole while Bobby and John hung back. At least it had stopped raining for the moment.

Knowing he was taking his life in his hands but knowing Dean and wanting to show him support Sam squeezed Dean's shoulder before moving off. The hunters formed a loose circle on the edge of the clearing as they waited nervously. As the moon came out Dean started pacing up and down and pulling at the chains. Sam took a step forward but John was there with a hand on his shoulder to hold him back. John could see what was making Sam step forward. Dean's wrists were already a mess as he moved around the pole yanking at the pole.

The hunters watched anxiously as Dean paced around steeling glances at the moon, his eyes purposefully off his family. Sam didn't like the way Dean was looking like he was waiting for something worse to happen. Something worse than having an Adjule inside him? As soon as the moon was full Dean stilled and fell to his knees. Sam could see him visibly shaking as he stared up at the moon. For a full minute Dean howled making all the hunters clap their hands over their ears. Sam's eyes watered as he watched Dean's mouth with wide eyes as he howled. Dean's teeth were so big they shone in the moon light. Sam swore Dean's fingers were getting longer and more pointed. Dean's eyes were glowing white and bright when he stopped howling and fell to the damp earth. On all fours Dean raced around the pole he was tethered to in a pertfect circle. Bobby saw that the chain had snapped that connected the cuffs was now broken but the cuffs themselves were still on his wrists.

John wanted to breathe a sigh of relief that they had just tossed the chain over the pole and not tied him to it but his mouth was hanging open watching Dean kicking up great clods of dirt as he ran. Bobby stared back at John with wide eyes watching with fascination as Dean continued to run and growl at the same time. Sam was at a loss at what to say as Dean's speed increased to a rate they could barely see. Sam could make out pieces of Dean's clothing on the ground however and when he focused hard he saw Dean was indeed down to just boxer shorts. The reason it was hard to tell Dean was half naked was because he had splashed mud on himself as he ran. There was soon a foot deep rut around the pole

John pulled out a dart gun from his back with a sigh and Dean screeched to a halt. At first Sam thought Dean was reacting to John but he stood tall and howled again without looking at him. As soon as Dean stopped howling he fell to the ground and started to seize like he had when he had first been infected. Bobby, John and Sam ran to Dean's side not being able to do anything but wanting to anyway. The glow from his eyes slowly faded the longer his body slapped the muddy ground. This time the seize lasted a good minute and a half before Dean slumped into unconsciousness. As soon as Dean was out the heavens opened up once again. Sam held Dean's face in his hands and called to him while Bobby and John took off the handcuffs and chain.

Sam used the cuff of his shirt to wipe the blood away that was flowing out of Dean's nose. Dean came to slowly groaning and clutching at his head.  
"You okay Dean?" Sam asked.  
"Get the number of the truck?" He muttered. "Head hurts like a bitch."  
"Dean." John warned.  
"At least I'm being honest." Dean held a hand out for Sam to help him up.  
Sam could see under the full moon that Dean's hair was still long as was his facial hair but the rest of him seemed to have gone back to normal. Sam helped Dean to his feet and stayed at his elbow as he swayed at being upright.  
"You okay Dean?" Bobby asked.  
"Starving." Dean mumbled with a hand on his belly.  
Bobby was kind of surprised Dean was on his feet at all with the condition he was in. Even in the moonlight he could see Dean's spine and ribs sticking out telling him that the run around the pole had taken even more out of him. Dean walked slowly to the cabin leaving the older men in his wake.

Dean stopped on the threshold of the cabin and looked back at John with big puppy dog eyes equal to Sam's.  
"What's wrong Dean?"  
"Dirty." muttered Dean.  
"Don't worry about it son, we will clean up later. "  
"We're wet to so no big deal," added Bobby.  
Dean continued his slow shuffle to the bathroom blinking at the bright lights with his eyes like slits due to his pounding head. He felt mentally and physically drained and wanted to lie down pretty badly. One foot in front of the other was quite the task.

Sam, John and Bobby could all see Dean's thin back clearly under the bare bulbs of the cabin and were dismayed at the red, bleeding scratches all over him that could only be from long claws. John looked down to see more on his legs and had a feeling his body would be littered in them. He hoped like hell Dean didn't get an infection from them as he had enough to deal with at the moment. Under the stark lights Dean's eyes looked more dark and sunken than ever before.

Dean moved to the shower only to find Sam still at his elbow.  
"It's okay Sammy, I just want a quick one before I demand some food. Any chance of some clean clothes buddy?"  
It was Dean's way of asking for a little space and Sam gave it to him. When he returned with a set of dry clothes Dean was kneeling in the shower, the spray flying off his bent head. Sam poked his head in with concern.  
"You okay Dean?"  
Dean nodded. "Yeah Sammy. Be out in a minute."

Sam left Dean to help the adults cook Dean a feast and Dean sighed with relief. What he needed most was some time to rebuild his walls. They had slammed down when the Adjule disappeared leaving a sensation in his brain like it had been washed out, with steel wool and acid. Dean felt like his walls had been scratched and bitten from the inside and needed major repair work. His brain felt like it had an out of order sign on it at the moment so he hoped the others wouldn't ask too many questions. He had seen the pain in the eyes of his family as he had battled the creature and the worry hadn't left them yet. It was up to him to do that. His skin stung with the cuts all over him and his head still hurt a bit but he was in one piece at least physically.

Dean staggered into his clean clothes feeling like a strong wind could blow him over. The upside to that was he could get Bobby to cook for him for a few days, well one at least before John dragged them away. Sam was waiting outside the room for him and remained at his elbow as he crept into the main room with his head down not feeling too great about how the last few days had gone. To his great surprise his dad grabbed him up in a hug as soon as he saw him enter. Dean returned the hug feeling it was just what he needed with his wall in such a state of disrepair.  
"You did good son." John said in a soft voice in Dean's ear startling him. "Just concentrate on getting better. Until then we've got your back."  
"Thanks dadaad." Dean stuttered shocked but appreciating that his dad understood.

Bobby served Dean up a plateful of bacon, eggs and pancakes and Dean ate unit his belly groaned which was less than half the plate.  
"Sorry Bobby. My stomach feels as big as a pea at the moment."  
"No problem Deano, next time."  
"We need to clean those cuts before you go to sleep Dean."  
"Yes sir."  
Sam had been watching Dean closely as he ate, rubbing his eyes at the same time. It was after midnight so Dean took pity on him and they headed to bed. Dean knew what Sam was like when he had returned late or injured after a hunt and let Sam crawl into the bed with him once John and Bobby changed the sheets and set the bed up properly. Sam hugged his brother hard and fell to sleep with his head on his chest after telling him what a great big brother he was. Dean didn't feel like a great big brother he felt like he had done something wrong and was waiting for the punishment from John for disobeying his initial order.

John and Bobby approached the bed as Sam nodded off and Dean lifted his head seeing the first aid kit held in John's hands.  
"Just lay still sport. We're going to dress these wounds. You must be tired so just rest."  
Dean nodded even though he wanted to draw the covers up and forget the last few days. John and Bobby carefully and gently applied antiseptic after washing the wounds in holy water and dressing any that needed it. Dean's wrists and ankles were wrapped lightly since they were bruised and cut. Dean fell to sleep as John drew the covers up over them both and the men crept out of the room. John and Bobby set to work removing the pole from the front,filling in the rut, washing any of Dean's dirty clothes and getting rid of any evidence so Dean would be comfortable when he woke. Just as a precaution John slept in the chair in the room with the boys but it was quiet and trouble free.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8 The aftermath

Disclaimers and warnings: See chapter one

Chapter 8 The aftermath

Dean stirred for the first time that day when John cooked a big breakfast of bacon and eggs for the boys. Dean still felt tired as he stumbled to the table with Sam as his shadow. He looked and felt no different than the night before and felt like he could sleep not just the day but the week through. Dean again didn't get through his breakfast almost face planting in his food. Bobby was missing and when Sam asked he found Bobby had gone to the store to buy more food.

John sent Dean back to bed despite his protests that it was daytime and he shouldn't be in bed. John was concerned at how Dean looked and that he didn't look to be getting better quickly as he thought he would.

Dean eventually went back to bed admitting he still felt like hammered crap and his mind hadn't seemed to engage a gear yet. Sam followed along like he was the dog this time and sat at the end of Dean's bed reading while his brother slept. John asked for Sam's help to set up lunch but in the end John had to pull Sam up by the arm to get him to help. It was clear Sam did not want to leave his brothers side.

Sam didn't know why John wanted his help, Bobby was back and helped with most of it. Sam made to go back to Dean three times before John sat him on chair to talk to him.  
"Easy Sammy. We need to give Dean some time to adjust to being back to normal."  
"I know dad, I just want to help."  
"Okay well you can help by letting him get some rest. He had that thing in him for four days hammering at him and not giving him a minutes peace. How tired do you think he would be after that?"  
"Pretty tired."  
"Very tired, even exhausted. He is going to need some time to recover. He may sleep for a day or so to make up for it."  
"I just wanna be with him. I swear I won't keep him up."  
"Alright but just remember that Dean won't want to look weak around you so you have to make it easy for him."  
"I will."

Sam sat at the end of Dean's bed all day while the older boy slept. John didn't wake him for lunch but did for dinner. Dean pushed the food into his mouth without much gusto despite his still too thin frame. Sam was fascinated with Dean's facial hair and the way his normally short hair was now a darker blond. Dean's eyes were back to normal except for the dark bags under them that were slowly getting better. He looked a sight though with the scratches all over him made by the claws he had in that short space of time. Sam didn't say much to Dean, just stayed by his elbow as he ate then went back to bed.

Dean for his part still felt like his brain was too tired to comprehend just what had happened over the last few days but his walls seemed to be repairing themselves, slowly. He was hoping they would be back to normal before John wanted to talk about things. That way when his dad told him off he could act like he didn't care. It was something that was getting much harder to get away with when Sam was around however. Sam seemed to know when he was just trying to make it easy on his family these days.

Sam sat against the headboard reading as Dean slept on getting towards ten pm. John came in and leaned against the doorjamb smiling when he saw Sam was carding a hand through Dean's hair and short beard as he read and Dean slept solidly.  
"Time for bed sport."  
"Can I sleep in here again?"  
John sighed. "Okay, Just yell if you need me."  
John hung around until the boys were settled for sleep kissing them both on the forehead. Sam looked up in surprise.  
"You did good Sammy. Both now and when Dean was …sick. Thanks for being so grown up about it."  
"That's okay dad. Dean would have done it for me."  
John nodded knowing Dean already did a multitude of things for Sam he would never tell his brother about. Not for the first time he wondered where Dean had got his selfless attitude from.

In the morning Dean was up and feeling well enough to help cook breakfast. He still couldn't finish the plate but did a good job. After he helped clean up Dean decided a shower was in order. He managed to get Sam to stay outside while he washed but almost walked into him when he opened the door. Dean went to John and asked if he could borrow a shaver and was given a new one Bobby had bought for the occasion and a can of shaving foam.

Sam's eyes lit up at the supplies in Dean's hands and he pestered Dean to be allowed to watch the long facial hair disappear. Sam sat on the edge of the sink watching Dean work at something he was not that familiar with. Dean's eyes meet Sam's a few times while he worked at first with a smile then with a frown. Sam caught the frown as he always did wiping a spot of foam off Dean's ear.  
"What's up Dean?"  
"Just….thanks Sammy."  
"Ah you're doing the work Dean, I'm just learning. You're teaching me, like you always do."

Dean signed. "Well it's time for another lesson I guess." Dean waited until Sam looked him in the eye. "You know we're different right?"  
"Yeah Dean."  
"Well this hunt didn't go to plan like we thought…"  
"Like you thought."  
Dean nodded. "It's best to have a backup plan is all. This was your first hunt near the front line. How do you feel about it?"  
"Well…I don't like what happened to you."  
Dean placed a hand on Sam's forehead and Sam leaned into the touch always feeling better and safer when Dean made contact. "How did _you _feel out there?"

Sam frowned. Their dad hadn't asked him that at all. "I was scared I guess."  
"Do you think you were more scared because I talked to you about the hunt?"  
"No. I think you calmed me down a little actually. I heard dad talking to Bobby on the phone before that and it made me worried."  
"You didn't say anything to me, but in the future I want you to."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Anytime you're scared or have any problem with what dad wants you to do, talk to me not dad."  
Sam scratched the back of his neck in a direct copy of what Dean did when he was embarrassed.

Dean signed. "Dad can be a bit scary and pig headed. I can try to…run interference for you. Believe me you will need it soon. Dads going to want you to start real training soon."  
Sam frowned. "What about you?"  
"I'm used to it," Dean joked then saw Sam's stricken look. "It's okay Sammy."  
"It's not Dean. You started much earlier than me. Why is dad leaving it so late?"  
"If it was up to me you wouldn't be doing it at all. I've been working as hard as I can to be the only back up dad needs, that way he leaves you alone."  
"You're hunting so I don't have to." Sam mused in that quiet, intelligent way he had even at eleven.  
"Kind of. But the other thing I wanted to say is thanks Sammy. You got me through a hard time. When I was…infected you were the one thing that helped me keep the monster down."  
"I did?"  
"Yeah Sammy. Just you being close helped with the control."

Dean started to clean the sink after himself aware of the 'chick flick' moment that had passed.  
"Dean you did great you know. Me and Bobby and dad are real proud of you. None of us could have done what you did."  
Dean huffed but remained silent.  
"Is …the way you…Bobby said you could do it cause you have…a place to shove things, like when dad doesn't come back from a hunt. I've seen it in your eyes, the disappointment and then you make a joke and don't talk about it. What was it like? Having that evil inside you?"  
"You don't want to know Sammy."  
"How did you hold it back? With these walls Bobby talked about?"  
"Kind of."  
"Could you teach me?"  
Dean sighed loudly before addressing Sam with a sadness Sam had never seen before. "I hope with all my heart it's something you never have to have Sammy."

The day passed with Dean sleeping off and on as well as eating much more as the day went on. When he wasn't sleeping Dean was content to sit next to Sam in the bed while the younger boy slept. While Dean had been showering that morning, Bobby and John had tidied the room up making it more comfortable for the boys. They would try to repair the walls before they left. Dean dropped hints all day that he needed a haircut , finally getting a promise Bobby would take him to the nearest town in the morning. John had threatened several times to do it but Dean stated he wanted hair left on his head. Sam bunked with Dean for a third night making John wonder if they were going to have separation problems. He decided to wait until they were back on the road to see how things went.

Sam insisted on being able to ride with Dean into town for his hair cut but watched the process from the other side of the glass incase Bobby decided he needed a haircut to. Sam liked having longer hair and had liked when Dean had longer hair but had to admit Dean was much more suited to his normal cut even though this time he had left the front spikes a little longer.

Bobby was a little uneasy at taking Dean into town still sporting bruises and cuts but the boy had cleverly covered as much skin as possible before they headed to town and they got through the cut without being asked anything. As a treat Bobby (with a sigh of relief) took the boys to the store to get some treats to eat while they watched TV together in the evening which they hadn't so far. Bobby stopped the car at an ice cream shop and bought the three of them a frozen cone each.

When they had arrived back at the cabin John had tidied up in his military way even fixing the wall a bit better than they had done previously. John ruffled a hand through Dean's newly clipped head with smile letting him know he liked him being back to normal. The weather was better so Dean and Sam made the most of it and went down to the lake. Dean eyed the water with trepidation remembering how had it had been when he had the Adjule inside him. He enjoyed the freedom of stepping into the water without his mind being pounded by that dark force. The time spent playing with Sam was more of the brotherly fun than before. Dean dunked Sam's head under a good number of times and pulled him down from underwater making the woods echo with shrieks.

Bobby bought a picnic lunch out to the boys at one and they sat and ate on the warming rocks. Dean really enjoyed the time listening to Sam natter on about birds, trees and nature in general. John came and collected them at dinnertime and the boys were disappointed to find most of their stuff was packed up ready to go. They showered and dressed after reassurance they were leaving in the morning. Dean ate the most he had eaten since the full moon and played cards with Sam in Sam's room until John appeared at the doorway.  
"Dean, do you mind coming out for a minute? Just Dean." John knew Sam would go everywhere Dean went for at least another couple of days. "Promise we won't be long, sport."

Dean sat at the kitchen table by his dad's elbow thankful Bobby was in the room even though the older hunter looked grumpy.  
"Now Dean we have to talk about what happened a few days ago. Bobby has insisted he be present just in case I'm too tough on you." John shot Bobby a dirty look only to get a smirk in return.  
Before John could open his mouth to continue there was a small shuffle from the hallway.  
"Back to bed, Sam." John started.  
"Can't we let him in?" Dean pleaded, "I'm just going to tell him anyway."  
John frowned at Dean's pleading look. The damn kid was better than Sam at that now.  
"Okay but he stays quiet."  
Sam scuttled close to Dean's side quietly.

John sighed taking a moment to get his thoughts back in order.  
"As I was saying Dean, we just wanted to talk about what happened. The tranquilizer guns. What made you contact Jim about those?"  
"Um…I was worried one of us would get hurt and I didn't fancy shooting my family." Dean said slowly knowing he was in for it.  
"Aside from going behind my back it was a good move."

Dean gave a soft smile which John quickly squashed.  
"Do it again behind my back and I won't be so lenient."  
"Jesus, John."  
"He could have been killed, Bobby. It's not his job to take the hits on every hunt, which he seems keen on doing of late."  
"His was protecting his brother, John, which I'm sure you told him to do more than a few times since I've known you."  
"I'll admit that but I don't want you taking stupid risks again Dean."  
"It wasn't stupid." Muttered Dean knowing he would do it again in a heartbeat.  
"We got very lucky," said John ignoring Dean's remark, "that you were able to contain it. Just how did you do that?"

Dean gulped around a lump knowing John wouldn't like whatever he said.  
"I guess I was able to push the blackness down. Kind of trap it in a trap I made so it couldn't get out."  
All the men were silent for a time in their own thoughts.  
"You mean in your mind?" John said softly making Sam and Bobby roll their eyes at each other.  
"Well yeah, pretty much."  
"Are there any after effects? Are you feeling like it's left some behind or anything?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Are you feeling…I dunno…evil…or anything?"

John received groans from Bobby and Sam but a small smirk from Dean.  
"I'm fine dad, all back to normal. Well normal for me, right squirt?"  
"Right Dean." Sam grinned back.  
John saw Bobby was looking at the boys with a fondness as they bantered back and forth but he wanted it back on track.  
"Anyway Dean, you did well at ….what you did , but next time let the adults handle it. Off to bed, we leave in the morning."  
Bobby, Dean and Sam all wanted to argue with John but they all knew that it had been a fairly short conversation with no real anger so they could call it something of a win.

John looked at his boys noting the way they seemed to communicate without words.  
"How about we go to Bobby's for a few days while Dean heals up?"  
"You mean it?"  
John was dismayed that Sam wasn't exited like a kid his age should be but cautious that John was telling the truth.  
"Well I can hardly take Dean into a dinner or motel looking like he is."  
Despite the shave and haircut Dean still had lots of cuts and bruises left over, most looking fairly painful.

Dean gave Sam a lazy wink that told him he was okay with them getting a slight holiday because he was a bit cut up.  
"That's fine with me boys. In fact I have a 71 Chevelle that has Dean's name all over it. It's about time we got you qualified so you can get a real part time job." said Bobby.  
Dean's eyes went wide in surprise when John nodded his agreement. "So all I had to do was get possessed by a crazy dog to get what I wanted."  
"Very funny Dean." John intoned.

The boys were piled into bed without a raised an eyebrow when Sam followed Dean under the bedclothes, still too early for separation. The night was uneventful bar a few low growls from Dean during the night.

In the morning the boys packed up and said goodbye to Bobby who was hanging around to finish the patch up job including a new window for one room and meeting them in a couple of days. Dean sat in the front passenger seat of the Impala and Sam sat directly behind him. They hadn't even got back onto tarmac before Sam sat forward and placed his hand on Dean's shoulder.

The end.

* * *

All done- I have a new story starting on Dec 1st so stay tuned-Gett


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